Funny Quotes
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please."
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
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